Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Courage
So I mentioned on my It Girl Connection about a tweet I read that asked "what would you do if you had Unlimited Courage". It really got my attention and gave me reason to stop and think. I found this so refreshing. I love love love it! I have been to so many business seminars and heard many motivational speakers and the usual mantra is "if you knew you could not fail what would you do, what would your goals be, what would your dreams be..." I understand the use of this to get people pumped up. To allow them to dream big. If the dream is big enough, the facts do not count you know. Now, for as many times as I heard this it gave me a time of excitement and daring to dream about something. However, I never truly embraced it or internalized it to move on in career or business. While that is largely a function of me I know, I also think it is a indication of the statement not hitting home with me.
"Unlimited Courage" is a home run. Anyone who has had a large amount of success has had to take risks in doing so. Usually the bigger and badder the risk, the greater the reward. An example that may show this best is in the stock market - I think we all agree that if you want a big fast return, the investment is going to be big and risky. And more importantly, your investment may fail. Yes fail. To step out in faith on yourself, your idea, your business, I hate to break it to you but you will fail. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe even more times than you can count. Thomas Edison was in the triple digits of failure. Maybe this is why the tried and true "if you could not fail" line of thinking did not resonate with me. I could open my mind at a seminar and dream, but deep down I knew failure was part of the plan. How much could really dream knowing there would be failure no matter how I tired to think it away? As I said before, you will fail on your way to success. It is not the absence of failure that will get you to your goals. It is how you handle that failure that brings you to success. What does it take to tackle failure? I say Courage!
Mary Kay says you will fail your way to success in business. I would agree with her. I have had plenty of misteps and failures, but the business is going and the money is growing. Some of the things I need to do to succeed in Mary Kay I truly do not like. In fact you could put the fear word in there. How do I make myself do those things? Courage. While it may not be "unlimited" as yet, I truly believe that the more I flex my courage muscle the bigger it grows. I like the fact that focusing on the courage factor is a positive thought which I think is easier to do than to negate or deny something ("not" fail).
In business you cannot always prevent failure. You can do everything right and still not get the sale. In business, failure is not neccessarily under your sole control as your actions usually involve other people. And we all know, we cannot control others. However, your courage is yours; you control it. It is in you, Think about it. The Cowardly Lion did not have to deny his circumstances, he did not even go to a seminar, someone simply reminded him he already had courage in him and acknowledged it. And what a change that made.
We all have courage in us. You may not think so but take time and reflect on all aspects of your life- were you in a dance recital, did you give a speech in school, did you meet a new friend, did you join a gym? It does not have to be superhero courage, courage exists in many levels. For me it takes courage to call a customer - yeah go figure. That is certainly not facing monst type courage, but is courage none the less.
Courage, unlimited courage, is in all of us. It is what will propel you to act in the face of your failures. When you have "courageously" faced your challenges and yes, your failures, it is then that you will get your dreams and goals.
Have a courageous day!!!!
"Unlimited Courage" is a home run. Anyone who has had a large amount of success has had to take risks in doing so. Usually the bigger and badder the risk, the greater the reward. An example that may show this best is in the stock market - I think we all agree that if you want a big fast return, the investment is going to be big and risky. And more importantly, your investment may fail. Yes fail. To step out in faith on yourself, your idea, your business, I hate to break it to you but you will fail. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe even more times than you can count. Thomas Edison was in the triple digits of failure. Maybe this is why the tried and true "if you could not fail" line of thinking did not resonate with me. I could open my mind at a seminar and dream, but deep down I knew failure was part of the plan. How much could really dream knowing there would be failure no matter how I tired to think it away? As I said before, you will fail on your way to success. It is not the absence of failure that will get you to your goals. It is how you handle that failure that brings you to success. What does it take to tackle failure? I say Courage!
Mary Kay says you will fail your way to success in business. I would agree with her. I have had plenty of misteps and failures, but the business is going and the money is growing. Some of the things I need to do to succeed in Mary Kay I truly do not like. In fact you could put the fear word in there. How do I make myself do those things? Courage. While it may not be "unlimited" as yet, I truly believe that the more I flex my courage muscle the bigger it grows. I like the fact that focusing on the courage factor is a positive thought which I think is easier to do than to negate or deny something ("not" fail).
In business you cannot always prevent failure. You can do everything right and still not get the sale. In business, failure is not neccessarily under your sole control as your actions usually involve other people. And we all know, we cannot control others. However, your courage is yours; you control it. It is in you, Think about it. The Cowardly Lion did not have to deny his circumstances, he did not even go to a seminar, someone simply reminded him he already had courage in him and acknowledged it. And what a change that made.
We all have courage in us. You may not think so but take time and reflect on all aspects of your life- were you in a dance recital, did you give a speech in school, did you meet a new friend, did you join a gym? It does not have to be superhero courage, courage exists in many levels. For me it takes courage to call a customer - yeah go figure. That is certainly not facing monst type courage, but is courage none the less.
Courage, unlimited courage, is in all of us. It is what will propel you to act in the face of your failures. When you have "courageously" faced your challenges and yes, your failures, it is then that you will get your dreams and goals.
Have a courageous day!!!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Wall
So, the famous wall. Most of us, especially my fellow runners, have heard of the infamous "Wall". The runners' wall is that place or time in a race when the body's fuels are depleted and willpower (the only thing you have left) becomes crucial to be able to finish the race. At this point, willpower is all you got. I have met a wall or 2 myself. Funny thing with walls, they cannot be anticipated and they vary in size and strength. They do have 2 things in common always. First and foremost, they will impede progress. They slow you, plant seeds of doubt, cause fear, and sometimes bring your progress to a grinding halt. They are a dangerous force to be reckoned with. The second commonality - "walls" simply do not exist, at least not in a physical sense. No mater how foreboding or oppressive, reach out to touch it and you will be grabbing at air.
The wall that stops so many of us in our various races through life, love, health, and business does not have a physical presence, it is a creation of the mind. Perhaps a better definition would be the creation of your doubts and fears. So why are walls so effective and destructive when they have no physical substance? This is due to the wall's source and our subconscious. The subconscious does not know truth from fiction. What you tell yourself in your self talk or daily affirmations is what feeds your self conscious. Just as there is healthy food and junk food to eat, there is healthy input for your brain and junk input. It is this junk - negative, pessimistic, doubting, fearful- that is the mortar for the wall and causes it to rise like a phoenix from the ashes right before your eyes. Often it is a mile high brick colored phoenix. This is daunting to even the toughest champions.
I encourage everyone to rent the DVD "Run Fat Boy Run". If you are not a runner or not an aficionado of British humor films, rent it and fast forward to the end of movie where the unlikely hero "Fat Boy" meets his wall during the marathon. I actually encourage you to watch the whole movie. I do not think it matters if you are a runner or not. There are some good life lessons. Also some bawdy English humor/language too so be warned. Now this may be a spoiler alert..... but the near final scene depicts the "Wall" the runner has hit. It is perhaps the most remarkable and accurate scene portraying the dreaded "Wall" I could imagine. The scene gives me chills and always brings tears. A remarkable part is that you see what he sees - or rather FEELS as the wall. Big and insurmountable and solid and REAL - to him. Then the camera gives you a view that you see as an onlooker - you see NOTHING. Walls are deeply personal. Others may see you struggling on your path and cheer you on through it, no one but you can see it. All the onlookers can see is the finish line, we all see it. Fat Boy cannot.
The great thing about walls is that, as they are man-made (you-made) they also can be man-destroyed. The tough thing is to realize that only the creator of the wall can destroy it. While it is easy to erect walls, it takes tremendous strength, mental strength, to break it down. The good news is that you have all you need to demolish you wall.
Fat Boy learns the secret to defeating the wall and it is the same for all of us. After being mentally beaten and bloodied by his wall, he shifts his gaze and begins to focus on his goal, his dream, the reason why he ran in the first place. That renewed focus on what he wants, of his "why", is the sledgehammer he needs to knock some bricks out of the wall. It does not take many knocks to bring a wall down.
So think, why did you sign up for a race, start a business, go on a diet, return to school? If you started on a journey, your own marathon of sorts, you had to have a goal in mind. Never let go of that goal. You must see it daily - you must verbalize it daily. A well envisioned goal can loom over any size wall.
Funny, with all my running, my walls have never thankfully been in a race. But they have been plentiful in other areas of my life and are often of various sizes and strengths. Perhaps dependant upon my commitment to my journey.. hmmmm. Some I have been able to quickly avoid or jump. Some I could break though easily. Others not so much. I have hit some of the big red brick mommas. The ones that stop you in your tracks and even knock you back a bit. The type I could not see my goal over. One time the bricks of my wall were telephone shaped (yes I dislike sales calls). I could not get my vision past the wall. So I decided that as walls are built piece by piece, so too will they fall. I made a call, one call. I did not care about outcome, just the action. And when I did, one brick dislodged. Another call, another brick and another and another. Pretty soon I was picking my way over the rubble and continuing my race.
That would be what I urge all of you to do. Whatever the nature of your race, do not stop. Do not let walls block your way to your goals or dreams. You have the power to tear down your wall. You know what is on the other side, you created it. It is worth it. Imagine how Joshua felt when the walls of Jericho came tumbling down. That triumph is for you all. Go out and break down your walls. Finish your race.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Fill the Need
One of my personal beliefs is that the Bible, among many other things is the first true book of success. And that would be success on many levels. Proverbs 25:21-22 "If your enemy is hungry give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the Lord will reward you." The Lord encourages us to see what others really need, even if they are are enemies.
John Maxwell relates this to principle to good leadership. Respond to others based on what their needs are not what YOU perceive as their need or what you think they deserve. As always taking ourselves out of the equation should allow us to better focus on our clients (and friends for that matter) and fill the need. In short selling is filling a need! Or as Maxwell states so well-
"Read the Need then Lead". So whose needs can you fill today?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Information Declaration
For those of you who may wonder if I think I am the self appointed guru of style and beauty and all things successfu- then you may wonder no more. And you must not have met me. I am a regular, and, if my daughter is to be believed (and she is), "not-remotely-but -always-working-on-it" style challenged nerdy jock. Now doesn't that give you a great feeling of relief that you look at my blog and IT Girl face book page?!
Seriously what I am is a culmination of fantastic mentors. Some I have met, some are lifelong friends, some preach at my church and some I have only had the chance to study or read or hear at a seminar. But they have one thing in common and it is the only stipulation I have for my mentors - they are highly successful at whatever they do.
I was blessed with a nerdy streak a mile long and love to read. I decided. while working on my MBA and being taught by many who had never ventured into the workplace and who only knew theory in books, that I had better do some research on my own if I wanted to go for the gold. This was crystallized as I studied work efficiency models at university, laughing all the way as I envisioned implementing most theories. The professor asked the class - "Does anyone who has had a job know it this would work?" Seriously? I was very glad right at that moment that Mt Sinai Hospital was footing the bill for this educational experience right down to the pencils and paper.
Well thank heaven that the Secret to Success is the worst kept secret around. There are more resources and information available than you could go through in a lifetime. I am constantly striving to learn more from those who have the goods to share more. In this search one must remember to seek advice only from those who are where you want to be and make sure your mentor is or has walked the walk and not just talked the talk.
You will find that I borrow from experts constantly and when I know who, I give them their due and thanks. Some concepts are fundamental and constant and have been versed so many times, there is not a real source. Like "goals need to be in concrete but your plans are in sand", and "if you do not know where you are going you will get there with great accuracy." A mentor of mine once said that those types of universal truths can be yours after you use them a few times!! :)
So do not fear as you enjoy IT Girl info. You will be enjoying lessons from authors experts, friends, speaker, family - not just a "not-so-stylish" nerdy jock!!
Some of my favorites: The Bible, Mary Kay Ash, John Maxwell, Nina Garcia, Dale Carnegie, James Blake, Zig Ziglar, In Style Magazine, Andre Agassi, Les Brown, Lisa Carpenter, Wanda Scoot, Amy Volk, Seth Godin, my husband.....
Seriously what I am is a culmination of fantastic mentors. Some I have met, some are lifelong friends, some preach at my church and some I have only had the chance to study or read or hear at a seminar. But they have one thing in common and it is the only stipulation I have for my mentors - they are highly successful at whatever they do.
I was blessed with a nerdy streak a mile long and love to read. I decided. while working on my MBA and being taught by many who had never ventured into the workplace and who only knew theory in books, that I had better do some research on my own if I wanted to go for the gold. This was crystallized as I studied work efficiency models at university, laughing all the way as I envisioned implementing most theories. The professor asked the class - "Does anyone who has had a job know it this would work?" Seriously? I was very glad right at that moment that Mt Sinai Hospital was footing the bill for this educational experience right down to the pencils and paper.
Well thank heaven that the Secret to Success is the worst kept secret around. There are more resources and information available than you could go through in a lifetime. I am constantly striving to learn more from those who have the goods to share more. In this search one must remember to seek advice only from those who are where you want to be and make sure your mentor is or has walked the walk and not just talked the talk.
You will find that I borrow from experts constantly and when I know who, I give them their due and thanks. Some concepts are fundamental and constant and have been versed so many times, there is not a real source. Like "goals need to be in concrete but your plans are in sand", and "if you do not know where you are going you will get there with great accuracy." A mentor of mine once said that those types of universal truths can be yours after you use them a few times!! :)
So do not fear as you enjoy IT Girl info. You will be enjoying lessons from authors experts, friends, speaker, family - not just a "not-so-stylish" nerdy jock!!
Some of my favorites: The Bible, Mary Kay Ash, John Maxwell, Nina Garcia, Dale Carnegie, James Blake, Zig Ziglar, In Style Magazine, Andre Agassi, Les Brown, Lisa Carpenter, Wanda Scoot, Amy Volk, Seth Godin, my husband.....
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
48 hours and the vision
So, no doubt the crutches and doctor's orders have made progress a bit hard and not as fast as I want, but there is progress nonetheless.
We are 48 hours away from the first featured IT Girl to get her gorgeous custom look and for all the fans to find out about her and her business. Very exciting especially as I have already met her and enjoy her company and loved what she shared about her family and business.
As far as first impressions go it does not get much better than this - when I met our IT Girl she made time for me despite mom/kid/school duties, a large work order, and an impending flight out of town. Her trip was to see a close friend who was having trouble with a teen child while her husband is deployed - our IT Girl is one of those incredible military wives as well. Our IT Girl was headed out to stay with her friend for a number days and give her support, mom advice, and perhaps a shoulder to cry on. WOW. How many times do we get so busy with our families, businesses, or ourselves that we kind of miss other's needs? Certainly we all have multiple pulls on us every day, that is the world of a woman; but we were made to handle those pulls, that is the work of God. I am so thankful for that.
So there is a little insight. And that is what I had hoped to find for the IT Girl Connection. Connecting women of excellence, who can lift each other in the marketplace and maybe in each other's lives.
As I sat in my weekly Success Meeting tonight honing my personal business skills, my mind wandered to the IT Girl Connection. I know up to now there has been an emphasis on style and beauty issues (my strength) while I have worked on getting the ladies lined up, but bear with me as I am reaching out to the movers and shakers of Hampton Roads. I really have big visions for this page and imagine a new type of B & I - Beauty & Inspiration (with no fees :)). I also imagined lots of women who share business tips and life tips and special causes and who as a group could even share in community service down the road. I have been so humbled to see so many of my "favorites" donating portions of sales to breast cancer or other causes this month already. I have seen beautiful cupcakes, collections of shoes for the needy, gorgeous quilts for ALS, wow. Imagine a group of business women - IT Girls - picking a cause a quarter and as a group donating time, services, and money. My my.
So, the clock is ticking, who are you IT Girls? I know some of you, you know more that I do not know. Let me know, the more the merrier!!!
Spread the word and help IT Girl Connection grow.
We are 48 hours away from the first featured IT Girl to get her gorgeous custom look and for all the fans to find out about her and her business. Very exciting especially as I have already met her and enjoy her company and loved what she shared about her family and business.
As far as first impressions go it does not get much better than this - when I met our IT Girl she made time for me despite mom/kid/school duties, a large work order, and an impending flight out of town. Her trip was to see a close friend who was having trouble with a teen child while her husband is deployed - our IT Girl is one of those incredible military wives as well. Our IT Girl was headed out to stay with her friend for a number days and give her support, mom advice, and perhaps a shoulder to cry on. WOW. How many times do we get so busy with our families, businesses, or ourselves that we kind of miss other's needs? Certainly we all have multiple pulls on us every day, that is the world of a woman; but we were made to handle those pulls, that is the work of God. I am so thankful for that.
So there is a little insight. And that is what I had hoped to find for the IT Girl Connection. Connecting women of excellence, who can lift each other in the marketplace and maybe in each other's lives.
As I sat in my weekly Success Meeting tonight honing my personal business skills, my mind wandered to the IT Girl Connection. I know up to now there has been an emphasis on style and beauty issues (my strength) while I have worked on getting the ladies lined up, but bear with me as I am reaching out to the movers and shakers of Hampton Roads. I really have big visions for this page and imagine a new type of B & I - Beauty & Inspiration (with no fees :)). I also imagined lots of women who share business tips and life tips and special causes and who as a group could even share in community service down the road. I have been so humbled to see so many of my "favorites" donating portions of sales to breast cancer or other causes this month already. I have seen beautiful cupcakes, collections of shoes for the needy, gorgeous quilts for ALS, wow. Imagine a group of business women - IT Girls - picking a cause a quarter and as a group donating time, services, and money. My my.
So, the clock is ticking, who are you IT Girls? I know some of you, you know more that I do not know. Let me know, the more the merrier!!!
Spread the word and help IT Girl Connection grow.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Fabulous 4 eyes
Eye-popping hints for my vision-challenges IT girls..... ever worry that your eyes cannot get the attention and kudos they deserve?
DON'T use eyeliner period. If you feel naked without and do not think you can handle that, try a medium color of eye shadow. It can define your eyes and still keep a soft look. Make sure if you do accent, that you always do the top and bottom lid as accenting only the bottom will minimize in your eyes.
AVOID darker colors for eye shadows. Lighter colors and colors with some shimmer are good picks. My Mary Kay favorites would be Vanilla Eyesicles, and Moonstone, While Lilly, Crystalline mineral eye colors, and Dynamic Eye Glimmer.
DO use mascara. Use and use the mascara. A double coat looks great. My all time must is Mary Kay Ultimate Mascara, what is yours?
DO use an eyelash curler. Per In Style magazine, the curler is a must and most make up artists consider it as "not an option".
**for those of you not into lots of make-up and tools like me (not even wearing makeup until my 40s) this thought was daunting and I feared for my lashes. However I have found an awesome heated eyelash curler- do not laugh (especially those who grew up with me). Go to http://www.robertjonesbeauty.com/ and treat yourself to the heated eyelash curler for $16.00. You will fall in love and your lashes will thank you for not squeezing the life out of them. The triple A battery even come with it. I absolutely love mine. Even makes difference for naturally long thick lashes.
Now all you 4 eyes out there will have 4 times the allure. Go out and flaunt it ladies!! :)
DON'T use eyeliner period. If you feel naked without and do not think you can handle that, try a medium color of eye shadow. It can define your eyes and still keep a soft look. Make sure if you do accent, that you always do the top and bottom lid as accenting only the bottom will minimize in your eyes.
AVOID darker colors for eye shadows. Lighter colors and colors with some shimmer are good picks. My Mary Kay favorites would be Vanilla Eyesicles, and Moonstone, While Lilly, Crystalline mineral eye colors, and Dynamic Eye Glimmer.
DO use mascara. Use and use the mascara. A double coat looks great. My all time must is Mary Kay Ultimate Mascara, what is yours?
DO use an eyelash curler. Per In Style magazine, the curler is a must and most make up artists consider it as "not an option".
**for those of you not into lots of make-up and tools like me (not even wearing makeup until my 40s) this thought was daunting and I feared for my lashes. However I have found an awesome heated eyelash curler- do not laugh (especially those who grew up with me). Go to http://www.robertjonesbeauty.com/ and treat yourself to the heated eyelash curler for $16.00. You will fall in love and your lashes will thank you for not squeezing the life out of them. The triple A battery even come with it. I absolutely love mine. Even makes difference for naturally long thick lashes.
Now all you 4 eyes out there will have 4 times the allure. Go out and flaunt it ladies!! :)
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